The Charmm'd Foundation
485 E. Half Day Rd, Ste 200 - Buffalo Grove, IL 60089
Phone: 847-883-9932 - Fax: 847-883-9960 - email:
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Tips & Tools on
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for
Building Self-Confidence
What is self-confidence?

Two main things contribute to self-confidence:  self-efficacy and self-esteem.

We gain a sense of self-efficacy when we see ourselves (and others similar to ourselves) mastering skills and
achieving those goals that matter in those skill areas.  This is the confidence that, if we learn and work hard in a
particular area, we’ll succeed; and it’s this type of confidence that leads people to accept difficult challenges, and
persist in the face of setbacks.

This overlaps with the idea of self-esteem, which is a more general sense that we can cope with what’s going on in our
lives, and that we have a right to be happy.  Partly, this comes from a feeling that the people around us approve of us,
which we may or may not be able to control.  It also comes from the sense that we are behaving virtuously, that we’re
competent at what we do, and that we can compete successfully when we put our minds to it.

-Courtesy of mindtools.com (http://www.mindtools.com/selfconf.html)
Learning this skill is a process. We will provide tips and tools in six sequential steps concentrating on a new step every
60 days.  Here is the sequence we will follow:  
Identify at least one individual who can help you reach your goals
  • Realize and focus on your strengths
  • Set small goals you would like to achieve
  • Welcome failure as a learning tool
  • Prepare for what you can control
  • Identify and begin to work towards your goal(s)
 
 And always keep your eye on the prize, celebrate and enjoy success!

Tip:
Identify at least one partner who can help you reach your goals
This is the first step in building self confidence. If we can find an individual who cares about us and our success, and is
willing to help us succeed, we are on our way!

Tool:
In the next 60 days, identify someone who cares about you and who you feel safe with.  Let them know you are working on
building your self-confidence and would like their help.  Then, at least twice a month, share with them your successes,
plans and concerns.  Let them know that you would like them to:
- listen and empathize
- offer suggestions
- affirm that what you are doing makes sense
- hold you accountable for goals you want to set for yourself
- encourage and/or help you celebrate

               Admitting to another person that we aren’t perfect and that we have some fears takes courage.  
                                           Hopefully what we gain far outweighs the risk.
Go for it!