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Are you afraid of silence?
A conversation is made up of words and body language, right? What about the spaces between the words? We often find ourselves consumed with the need to fill the silence. Even in times when we have little to say, we find ourselves ushering the conversation along. Why do we do this? When we think we are helping to facilitate, we may be trampling on another person’s thoughts and cutting them off before they have a chance to speak. How do we embrace the silence needed to cultivate and promote reflection in our conversations with others?
We often assign silence an awkwardness that may or may not be present. What may be uncomfortable about enjoying the silence? Comfort may have to do with our comfort level with the person we’re talking to. It may even depend with how comfortable we are with ourselves. What can be the benefit to embracing the silence? Are we reading the silence right? There can be many reasons for silence – tension, thought, anger, or other emotions. Actively listening and allowing space for thought before responding in conversation is respectful and ensures the richest and most thoughtful communication with others.
Imagine... finding rich conversation in the space between the words.
Activity:
So… … … a funny thing happened to me today… …
Try This - Have a conversation with a partner on any topic. Wait 10 seconds between when one finishes talking and the other begins. Now discuss the following:
- What were you able to accomplish during that quiet time? (organize your thoughts, process what was said more clearly, etc..)
- What was uncomfortable with that silence?
- What did it do for your relationship with that other person?
- How does our acceptance of silence (or not) affect the way we come across in our communication with others?
Confronting our communication roadblocks can help us to turn the FEAR of silence into a CELEBRATION of quiet contemplation!
Reflection:
- What happens when you say something and others are silent?
- How does that make you feel?
- How do you control an awkward silence?
- How do you know you’re in control to begin with?
- If you are afraid of silence, how does this translate to when you’re alone?
- Are you still afraid of silence – or is it only in communication with others?
- What are you afraid of?
- Are you assuming that you know what they’re thinking?
- How does one actively listen to silence?
“There are times when silence has the loudest voice.”
- Leroy Brownlow