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Do You Speak Too Soon?
Scenario: A friend is telling us about a problem they’re having. We have a solution and want to jump in and fix the issue. Are we pausing to listen to what they need from us? Maybe they have their own solution. Scenario: A co-worker is recalling a fantastic story from their recent vacation. We have an equally amazing story about something similar. Do we jump in too soon and steal their thunder?
Listening actively is harder than it seems. Pausing to listen completely before jumping into the conversation can be difficult when we are eager to make a connection. How can that affect our relationships with others? What info may we be missing by cutting another person off? It takes less time and energy to remain patient for a few minutes than expend the energy solving issues that may not need solving or giving unwanted advice. Are we stealing focus from others and not showing respect by giving them the impression we don’t care about what they have to say? It is better to be interested than interesting! Though it may come from wanting to solve problems, and share with others, how do we avoid the urge to connect too soon?
Imagine... knowing that being a respectful listener is worth more than adding your two cents.
Activity:
Try this – Total Recall?
- Select one person to be the storyteller and divide the remaining group into two teams: A and B.
- Have the storyteller stand up and read aloud a brief passage from a book, essay, menu or newspaper article. Ask them to read it aloud again, and to stop midway through.
- Have each team complete the article as they remember it. The team with the closest recollection wins. This simulates the information you may have missed had you interrupted too soon!
This game requires active listening and encourages people to listen completely and remember important information and details.
Reflection:
Do you ever find yourself speaking up too soon while communicating with others?
- If so, how can you clear your mind to fully listen?
Do you ever find yourself wanting to jump in because you are eager to share?
- How can you channel your excitement into listening and find the proper opportunity to share?
What else can you do to prepare for conversations with others?
- Can we ask them up front what they are looking for? (advice, a sounding board, solutions)
How does it make you feel to be cut off in the middle of your thought?
The Charmm’d Foundation would like to thank Nini Lustig, Executive Director of Lake County Cares, and Fred Lutz for pondering with us this week!
“To listen well, is as powerful a means of influence as to talk well, and is as essential to all true conversation.”
– Chinese Proverb