• The Charmm'd Foundation

What Makes A Person Difficult?

A Charmm’d Pondering Point

With six billion people in the world, we are bound to run into difficult people. They might be people who are negative, people who oppose our ideas, people who anger us, people who simply do not like us or make it hard to get from point A to point B. What makes them so “difficult”? We do; we give them that title. Until we decide to label them as such, they are “regular people.”

What do we mean when we call someone “difficult”? Many times it is about the person not agreeing with us and / or rubbing us the wrong way. When we run into a situation like this, how do we handle it? Is this person even aware we are upset with their actions? Are they intentionally trying to frustrate us? Dealing with difficult people can be emotionally taxing and unpleasant. Once this happens, it is hard to deal with the issue at hand. How can we clear our heads and move forward?

Let’s go back to the idea of “us” looking at the person as difficult. Situations can force us to learn more about ourselves. We may find that the cause of the friction is not the other person – it may be us or a combination of the two. Here is an opportunity to celebrate our growth in every situation, even those that show us the kind of person we don’t want to be. The choice is ours to learn from those experiences and to realize the effects those actions create.

Imagine... being grateful to people that have tried to make life difficult.

Group Activity

  • —Pair up. —

  • Have one person spend five minutes sharing with their partner a challenge they are having with a difficult person. —

  • After hearing the story, the listener will recommend suggestions to deal with the difficult person. —

  • Have the pair switch roles and repeat the exercise.

  • Ask the group to reconvene with each pair sharing two practices they can use moving forward to deal with difficult people.

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